The most important thing in your life as a single
After being single for almost 7 years and looking for happiness in all the wrong places for far too long, I have worked it all out for myself. Through over 110 online first dates, big hopes and big disappointments, chasing relationships for years and becoming more disillusioned by a day, I now know what is the most important thing in my life as a single person – it is ME and my relationship with MYSELF!
You are the most important person in your own life. Your relationship with yourself is the most meaningful relationship that you will ever have. It is the only permanent relationship in your life, so it needs your attention and regular TLC like any other relationship.
When you become your priority number ONE in your own life many things will change for you. I don’t mean being egotistically in love with oneself here. I mean becoming important to oneself. Knowing your own needs and looking after them. Having firm boundaries. Loving and respecting yourself despite your flaws and imperfections.
Most of all it is all about becoming happy with yourself. Let’s face it; it can be extremely difficult to create healthy relationships with other people when you are not happy with yourself first.
Your relationship with yourself determines a lot in your life. The healthier it is, the better your life gets. Your wellbeing and balance in life becomes your priority. You are no longer willing to waste your time for the wrong things and people. You devote it to your personal growth instead. You make better decisions and choices – the ones which will serve you rather than others. Your relationships improve as you are more loving and compassionate (towards yourself first and then it expands on to others). You have more energy to focus on the important things as you don’t waste as much of it on unimportant things any more. And you become genuinely happy with yourself and your life.
I know it might sound like a big change to suddenly put yourself first but start small. Start from observing yourself in different situations in life. See how often you do things for others because you don’t want to hurt them. Notice how often you do things for others as you don’t want to feel guilty or because you want their approval. Bring some awareness to how you function in the world. Notice how often you betray yourself and do things against yourself.
Discover the voice of your inner truth and listen to it and with time it will become the main guide for you. Then when you get familiar with recognising it, start respecting it and make choices which are more aligned with your truth. It takes practice like every new habit, but see how it affects your life.
Another more challenging thing is spending quality time on your own without any distractions. If you have never done it before and the idea of spending some time in your own company scares you, start from only a few minutes per day. You do it anyway, but do it more consciously. Designate 5-10 minutes, sit down and dive within.
In silence you can really hear your own thoughts and notice your feelings. In silence you really meet yourself, your true self. Just connect with yourself, go within and see what comes up for you.
I hope you manage to create some space for you in your life. It is priceless. Be gentle with yourself, experiment and empower yourself by respecting YOU!