How to get ready for LOVE – Part 2
I absolutely believe that you start creating your dream relationship while you are single. This is the time to get ready for love and create your vision for your relationship. This is the time to become who you want to be in the next relationship. This is the time to remove all the obstacles and create space for love and your dream man to show up.
Following my last week’s blog (How to get ready for LOVE – Part 1), today I have additional 7 tips which can help you get ready for love and become a happier person.
1. Find yourself before you start looking for your dream man.
Take some time to explore who you really are. Spend some time with yourself in solitude and answer some big questions for yourself. Question your beliefs as you may find out some of them are not even yours! What are your needs? What are your dreams? What do you want? What is important to you in life? Attracting a partner from the space of knowing yourself is a completely different experience which usually results in finding someone who values and wants the same from life. When you don’t know who you are you also can’t know who you want to share your life with. Finding yourself is also about realising that you are a whole and complete person. It is about understanding that you are capable of satisfying your own needs and desires. It’s about making your own dreams come true, becoming comfortable on your own, having a strong relationship with yourself and living your life as a single proudly and boldly.
2. Create your own exciting life before you meet him.
If you believe your life will be exciting only when you meet the dream guy you are setting yourself up for failure. Yes, it will be exciting for the first few weeks/months, but later on you will come back to your natural state. Don’t wait for a guy to change your life if you are not happy with it now. You owe it to yourself to live a happy life and make an effort to change anything what doesn’t work or serve you anymore. You need to have hobbies, passions, goals, friends otherwise you will become consumed by your relationship; you will be too needy and not attractive at all.
3. Stop looking for a rescuer.
Too many women I meet still hold on to this idea that when they meet the dream guy they will become happy and be saved from their problems. It is a very disempowering approach to relationships. Your dream guy is looking for someone who lives her own life and looks after herself. You have got everything you need to be able to look after yourself and resolve your own issues. You don’t need a man to do that for you. To become ready for love you need to realise that you are your own rescuer. You just need to rediscover your own strength.
4. Accept that love is about taking risk.
There are no guarantees in love and nothing is certain. One thing is sure though, that by falling in love, you risk losing that love and getting your heart broken again. If you are not ready to take that risk you haven’t been single long enough. Take your time until you feel that the desire to be in an amazing relationship, grow in it and love again is bigger than your fears. Real love requires an open heart. If there is too much fear you won’t be able to love the other person fully. You also won’t be able to receive love.
5. Value yourself.
I see this as the most important step to finding a man with integrity. High quality men value women who value themselves. You need to start loving yourself and your life and develop this attitude of being a prize to a man. You know, having certain standards in life, respecting yourself, having boundaries, demanding certain treatments and appreciating who you are. When you fully approve of yourself and have a healthy level of self-worth, men will feel attracted to you and will want to get to know you. The good thing about valuing yourself is that the more you value yourself, the better men you will end up dating as you won’t have energy/time for the ones who are below your expected standards.
6. You need to start loving men again.
We carry so much pain and hurt from our previous relationships and this stands in the way of our romantic happiness. Examine your emotional baggage before you start dating as the thoughts/beliefs you have may seriously sabotage your dating results and your next relationship. If you hold on to any resentment, anger or blame towards men will be taken with you to your dating and relationships. Dissolve any disempowering beliefs like: men are jerks, men only hurt me, I don’t understand men, men can’t love, men don’t care about me, men are selfish, etc. By exploring your past and finding the lessons in it you reduce the effect of all the pain from the past on your current life. Free yourself up from all the negativity You will have more fun in dating and once in a relationship you won’t project all the crap onto your man.
7. Get clear on what you want from your relationship.
Last but not least is the clarity! And it is not about creating a list of required characteristics of your future partner as I believe this can limit you more than you think. It’s about how you want to feel in your next relationship, who you want to become, what you want to do in it, where you want it to take you, what you want to experience in it. The more precise you are, the more you ‘feel’ your relationship the easier it will be for you to eliminate all the men who are not suitable and don’t share a similar vision. It is really about getting it right not rushing. The more selective you are the higher your chances are whether your next relationship will be successful and lasting. Clarity gives you strength and being patient is the way to go.