Dating Detox, My Big Transformation

After my last low-quality relationship, I went into panic. I was 30. I had no boyfriend, no husband, no kids, no house, nothing to my name and put myself under even more pressure to find a man.

I still believed that a man was the solution…so what did I do? I kept on dating.

I went on a series of desperate and uninspiring dates. I kept meeting men who had nothing to offer or with whom I had nothing in common.

After one of these boring dates, I woke up the next morning and couldn’t even remember the name of the guy I dated the previous evening.

It felt wrong on so many levels. I had reached my dating limit.

Reflecting on my last few dates, I realised that I didn’t want to waste my time anymore.

By this point, I was absolutely exhausted. I was tired of dating and chasing love. I was tired of waiting for The One. I was tired of constantly having to pick myself up and put myself back in the dating game.

Something shifted within me. This was the moment of truth.

For the first time in my dating career, I was brave enough to admit that all my dating efforts had not brought me my desired outcome: I was nowhere near finding The One.

I realised that somewhere along the way, I had abandoned myself. I needed some time to re-evaluate my approach to dating and to love.

I felt like there was something wrong with me: so much crazy dating and I couldn’t even find one freaking man to be happy with! How much dating does a girl need to do to find a man?

I sat down and asked myself a few questions: Why am I running away from myself? Why did I so desperately want to have a relationship? Why could I not stop dating and be with myself for a while? And most of all, what am I learning from all this and being single?

That was it.

I put pen to paper and the answers kept flowing.

I came to the conclusion that the only right thing to do was to stop dating. I deleted my online profiles, cancelled all my memberships and started my dating detox.

For the next two years, I didn’t even think about men or dating. I was free to focus purely on myself.

I needed to give myself some space and develop a better relationship with myself. Indeed, I felt a deep desire to reconnect with myself.

I stopped waiting for my dream man and I started to live in the moment and enjoy my life in the HERE and NOW.

I stopped postponing my happiness and started to do all the things I had dreamed of doing with my future partner. I signed up for the gym. I started to save money up for my house. I travelled more. I broadened my social life. I created more excitement and adventures in my life.

As well as developing a stronger relationship with myself, I meditated daily. Silence and solitude became my good friends. I spent a lot of time in introspection and writing down my thoughts. I did many spiritual workshops with many different teachers. I worked on my self-worth and self-love.

I found so many blessings in living my life as a single person and I genuinely started to embrace it rather than running away from it.

The more I started to connect with myself, the less lonely and desperate I felt. Life became easier. I stopped fearing lonely weekends.

I was finally free of chasing love, men, and relationships. I stopped feeling desperate.

I started to enjoy spending time on my own. I found myself and my strength as a woman. For the first time in my life, I felt complete.

Most of all, I discovered that I didn’t need anybody else to be happy. I realised I alone was responsible for my own happiness – and not to expect this from a man.

I had found my BLISS.

 

In my next blog post, PART 3 of my Love Story, you can read how my love life changed after my Dating Detox. Click HERE. To start from PART 1 you can click HERE.

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